Fathia Karakipo ( 1 )
Fathia is a very beautiful girl , white , , greasy , appetizing , well rounded and bulky; she is particularly fat but well propionate and tall that is my weak point , to have a well rounded girl .it may go to a fetish , she doesn’t know me at first . I used to look at her loin de loin as they say in French . Fathia’s mother cooks well , we sometimes go to
her house to cook us couscous , at first , I couldn’t understand her mother’s way of looking , very strong , calling people to her , only I want to speak about Fathia . yes , Fathia was brought up to be a whore , some people said they saw her in Alexandria , I saw her in one of the streets in Cairo , she was hot , I said :
- Salam Fathia, hi Karakipo ( her nickname ) .
– Do you know me ? she asked in surprise.
- I used to come to your house to make couscous with my cousin .
- Oh, yes , that skinny girl.
- Can I see you again Karakipo ?
- I’m busy , I m not free.
- What do you do ? I asked meaningfully .
- I earn my life , now I have four children and my husband is dead.
- Bye Fathia. see you later . I wanted to speak with her longer .
- see you soon , welcome any time at my home . it is strange to say
I’m not free and then she says welcome at home any time , may be
she remembered her profession ; and she isn’t free , means , she
has a business to do now. I’ m your business , too. I wanted to say
that , but , it was awkward , it was the first time to speak with her .
She went straight on . I looked at her back with her great hunches . I keep thinking of her . how much I want her . when will I have her in her bed ?. my mouth was watering , and I licked my lips . Where will she go ? anyway, I’ll keep on knocking at her door . I went back home where I live with my two sisters . one brother and my mother , my father was dead .after two days , I went to Fathia’s house, I knocked at her door. It was evening , I know nobody is with her by that time .
- who is it ?
- It’s me .
- welcome , how are things going ? she said encouragingly .
- Fine .I’d like to say something but I’m scared you may shock me .
- no , I won’t , we are neighbors . she was smiling tempting me to say what I feel . I was hesitating how I tell her I’m interested in her.
- I ‘ve been thinking. I was hesitating how I reach her the idea of how I love her .
- in what ?
- everything.
- like what ?
- like why I love you ? why I come to see you? I asked , In fact , I want to strike the iron when it is heated , my policy is to attack at once , I’m not going to be suffering and thinking of her all nights .
- so soon, am I magnetism ?
- you are like flower of lily , you are terrific , I haven’t seen such beauty , I wanted to speak with you long ago .
- thanks , I think I’m your bon appetit . she seems that she knows what I’m after . she was speaking caressingly and welcomingly but with solace . her eyes had promises and vows.
- nevertheless, you look sad . I said .
- my mother is sick.
- where is she now ?
- she is in hospital , El ” Hussein hospital at Darassa .
- I’ll visit her tomorrow .
- don’t bother yourself .
- I’ m sorry for that.
- don’t worry . shall I bring you a cup of tea ? she meant this offer .
- yes please . after the tea , I held her fat hand , then I asked her .
- I’d like to sleep with you . she looked straight boldingly at me, she forgot the illness of her mother .
- let’s go to my bed room , she obeyed submissively . that is my type.
I don’t like the pugnacious one . she is delicious , her body so, soft , to the touch , she interacts with me , she gives and takes. I feel tenderness in her eyes . I feel true welcoming , while I feel falsehood in other women’s eyes , stoicism and carelessness, but in hers, there is real attention ,real care .
I don’t give her money only some presents , I take from her everything. She likes my selfishness ,she never makes me feel that I’m selfish . you never met the speaking eyes , her eyes speak , her black eyebrows are bowed . her nose is shy , her mouth is flickering . she is always ready to reply you ; the decorum in her reply, she is that kind of women you feel you want to come to her a lot of times , she is not that sort of woman you can’t forget .who is going to forget that beauty? .
My house is before hers . she lived in the ground floor . I lived on the second floor . At night I looked at her window ,she doesn’t know or care whether anyone peeps at her , how beautiful her thighs were , like two white neon lamps .the blood runs in my veins .
In the morning I’ll wait for her at the bus stop . I found her jumping into the bus I ran after her. I I kept stuck to her soft body . I felt such a sensation. I can’t describe such feelings , although I was in her bedroom only yesterday night
- what do you want ?
- I want to live with you .
- you can’t , I’ve children , besides, you know my job.
- you can find a decent one .
- I looked for it everywhere . even when I served in the houses . men were greedy and lecherous .
- it is because of your wealthy, reddish , buttery , watery and inviting body .
- I can’t change it , a leopard can’t change his spots .
- I ‘ll wait you at seven o’ clock , we can go to the
– OK .
I waited from 4 o’clock till 7 o’ clock , dreaming what I will do with her or with her body . We will go to one of those heavy bushes , I ‘ll feel her body with my bare hands . I’ll squeeze her breasts , her belly her thighs. I’ll kiss her strawberry lips. But she didn’t come .
I woke up from my day dreams . I think I should stop thinking of her . I won’t see her again . how she forgot my date ,but may be she went to visit her mother at the hospital , may be she is ill herself . I comforted myself . I think it’s a sort of self – pity , self- conviction . Next day when I see her, I won’t run after her in the bus . I’ ll take another bus.
There are girls you can speak with ,others you feel bored with them . there are others you are paralysed before them . Fathia is different .I was waiting the bus when she was walking –like Lord Byron, “she walks in beauty ” Fathia is shaking every part of her delicious , luscious perfect blemish less body in walking .
- why didn’t you come the other day? .
- one of my children was ill I couldn’t come
- you lie , you were with another man you were doing business
- whatever , what will you do ?
- nothing , but don’t tell lies . I want you to tell me whether you care
for me or not ?
- I don’t know . I don’t care about other people , but you are different .
- you have some thing I can’t explain .
- you mean you love me ?
- what is love ? love is a waste of time .
- o k the bus comes . I’ll see you at the
- God willing.
This time I didn’t believe she’d come so I was half an hour late . to my surprise I found her waiting for me .
- Salam , Fathia . how are you ? I didn’t expect you’d come .
- I don’t want you to be angry .
I put my hands on hers as if my hands mudded in butter , she was blushing , her cheeks were red ,her eyes were tearful, blazing tenderly with love , she said ,
- can we change places so that I can see your eyes better .
- why ?
- you have such dark brownish anguish eyes . I agreed .
time passes fast with her . we spent six hours. I intended to hug or kiss her and to go into the bushes , but I didn’t . we only talked , she said :
- I used to have a headache , but it has gone .
- I’ll wait for you tomorrow
- no I couldn’t .
- why ?
- I just couldn’t .
- you ‘ll do some thing .
- it isn’t of your business . I said good bye furiously .
Of course , I’ve some girl friends in the faculty , but they are colleagues . I have a friend called Dorria , but she lives in Agouza and loves another neighboring boy friend . I have another girl called Nahed her father was a professor , but she looks like a doll with her complete make up . I was very poor . there was no much money in
I told my friend Dorria about her , that how I love Maha , and how I can’t speak with her
- I can help you talking to this girl
- I ,m scared to death .
- is she Nahed ? she asked guessingly.
- no , she isn’t , I can’t tell you her name I just can’t
- you will feel better .
- listen Dorria , I can’t tell you about her name . that is it .
One day in summer in our vacation I went with my friend Ahmad ; one of my colleague to Fouad Street ; down town at” Al “Americain” , a sort of café shop I met Maha there , with her old mother, but I couldn’t believe it was Maha , she changed her hairstyle altogether .
( – 2 -)
I don’t know why the students in
He was the responsible for the collapse and deterioration of everything in Egypt ,Africa and the Arab World . He magnetised us behind him . I remember when I was in secondary schools , we , some students were coming out of schools to go to receive the Africans presidents coming from the airport . we were trained to clap our hands and saying slogans like parrots meaninglessly . we don’t understand; Union , Discipline and Labor . who can tell me what these words mean?
why Nasser and his gang made the revolution ? . they said it was a revolution but it was a coup d’etat . Nasser swore not to betray his king ; Farouk , but Nasser didn’t keep his oath . Nasser killed king Farouk by poison in Italy . Nasser was killed by poison too, later on .
I think the Egyptians deserve Nasser , they didn’t know how to sustain and preserve their king . on his reign , Egypt was a great country , there were a lot of factories , 6 millions of acres , all well cultivated , all the goods and articles from all over the world , there was an elected parliament , tourism was flourished , the streets were washed twice a day , there was a railway station , there were cinemas an industry of the films , stocks and a bourse, international and local banks , opera and songs , free press , distinguished writers and thinkers like Taha Hussein , Abass El Akad , Tawfik El Hakim, Lotfi El sayed , singers like Sayed Darwish , Abdel Wahab , Um Kalsoum, schools for girls , the Egyptian pound could buy 5 dollars or a gold Georgean
Pound and two and a half piastres ; the change ,most of the Italians Greek, English and French came to work in Egypt .
Benzion . Cicurel , Shamla owned grand stores in Cairo And Alexandria.
Greeks and Italians had restaurants . groceries, cafes and bakeries in Egypt .My father told me he had the habit of buying good sausage , cheese and olives from Art in; the grocer at El
Musky . the Christians , Jewish and Muslims were living together in the same house happily . I had a cousin who had a cousin whose name was Akarish , lighted the lamps for the Jewish on Saturdays in the Jewish Alley in Cairo . My aunt’s husband and some of my relatives were working at Kazaroni ; the Jewish at Suleiman Pasha street , he was the owner of a shop for repairing ,selling and buying old Persian carpets . In short , Cairo was like New York , it was even more beautiful than London, Paris and Rome .
I wish the king had been there , and the English troops hadn’t been driven away . Now the Egyptians need to learn more and to read more . At present ,we are like the 18th century England . 300 years of civilization backwardly between Egypt and England .
Nasser made us backwarded again and crossed out 300 years of promotion and progress . On the other hand , I wish Nasser hadn’t educated me or allowed me to join Cairo University , faculty of Arts , English Department ,I feel remorse when criticizing him , because he gave me a chance to be with the elite , I didn’t have the money to afford it . I hate what he had done . I wish I were illiterate and ignorant . Culture and education are torturing me because of ,what it must be and what it is . If I were illiterate , I would have married Fathia and enjoyed her mollifying , budding, pasting body , even though she had four children . Fathia’s memory makes me relaxed again . It is the escape of pressure , stress and aspiration for me and my country .
Fathia is the oblivion of the awareness and self consciousness . Is it the opium to forget oneself ? . it is the paradise of imagination ; like when I was a child I was covering myself with a vault and diving in darkness. I felt as if I was living in a world of Scheherazade, one of the Arabian nights . May be Fathia is that vault which protects me from the hard life around . can anyone think of a woman for a long time ? I don’t know .
I told Fathia I’d come to her house to help her son study his lessons. she agreed . At five o’clock I went to her house . I said hello and got in . she put a table before me and her son came . I began to teach him and she brought me a cup of tea . In fact , I was in somewhere else , a world of sensation . Is she sitting in front of me with her tilting body , everything is tilting in her body ,above her feet there are streams of bends made of butter , her belly is like a big tray of flesh , two big cushions behind , oh , how wonderful , who can estimate that beauty . I wish I hadn’t had such a fetish for her , that is my weak point , everybody has a fetish for something. Someone has a fetish for money or wine , he never feels satisfaction . If it is a disease , I can live with it . may be I will be cured one day .
I know a friend called Ezzat Helmy who had a fetish for showing up , he always exposed his knowledge . his clothes were dazzling . He loved one girl called Farida .He wrote a poem about her , she was like Venus , Tall and bulky , she has brownish hair , shadowy purplish eyes , but she wasn’t my type . We set up a wall sheet magazine hung on the Department of Media . I chose a name Piccadilly for it . we wrote our opinions , a sort of protest against everything . Youth should protest. we didn’t like anything in our country or in life . We wrote why the cannons on the war front in Sinai are silent , that was before the great war of 1973 . Nasser brought defeat but Sadat brought victory to Egypt and the Arab world .
One day Ezzat and I went to the desert of the pyramids at Giza ,just to yell in the space , just to hear the echo of our voices . there are some people who are afraid of their voices . I have other two friends , one is called Ahmad Mabrok and the other called Gaffer El Sadek. , Mabrok didn’t admit the importance of religions at all . He always smokes much and eats much and boasting about going to a whorehouse whose landlady called Um Hanan. She had some hockers , after coming back to our meeting on a café called Ahmad Orabi at El Geish square . I , Mabrok and Gaffer had the habit to meet every Tuesday there at 7 o’clock . Mabrok was talking about his feminine adventures at Um Hanan. He persuaded us to make a go but I couldn’t go because I’m obsessed with Fathia .
( – 3 – )
If you examine everybody’s core of heart , you will find something grudge larking.
the love of Allah occupies all the time of the believers . Money is power , it can be equivalent to authority , it can brings women ; and power, it can be moved from a second motive to a first one . the aesthetic , who deprives himself from life’s pleasures to the pleasure of loving Allah can forget anything but Allah . He depends on Allah in everything . he is melting in Allah’s Light and companionship , he finds consolation in approaching Allah’s love , he can see the angels , the paradise, the Chair , the Throne and even the face of Allah himself . Ibn Arabi was one example of a good aesthetic
The man who has authority ; the minister , the govern- orators and the parliament representatives , the chief of Municipality feel companionship to power , authority deforms man , it changes him from a human being into a monster. He feels satisfied and importance if he tortures other people . if he sees humiliation in other eyes , it’s more sensational than sex . people are afraid of men of power . they turned out to be beasts on the days of Nasser . the political prisoners : the people who opposed him – their wives and daughters can be raped before them , the prisoners can be raped after . No darkness can be darker than those days , even the time of Hitler , in the Holocaust , where the Jewish were tortured and killed : the Egyptians are killed every day because of hunger and at the police stations . The police officers can’t treat them as human beings , but as animals , even animals can be appreciated , they can be sold to be eaten , they have value but the Egyptians have no value whatsoever . the Egyptian police officers think themselves as semi gods and the minister of interior is Zeus . the only people who live in luxury and freedom are the ministers and their deputies, the businessmen , the politicians , the artists , the people of Media and the footballers . Only seven businessmen are ruling Egypt . all the officials , the teachers , the doctors, the engineers, the lawyers , the workmen and all the farmers are poor , over than 90% are poor .
It is said that Colombia is the most corrupted country in the world . this is not true . In Egypt ; you can’t do any governmental service free , if you want to be ill and want to go to governmental hospital , you have to pay off everybody and you have to buy the bandages , the antiseptic and everything for the surgical operational . you have to say farewell to your friends , don’t say to anybody hello or good morning unless you have the price for it.
They say King Farouk was wasteful and spoilt ,likewise his father King Ahmad Fouad , later , we found out that King Ahmad Fouad was well educated man . He studied economics in Italy . He increased the cultivated land. They forged history . they told us they are not to commit mistakes , they omitted the student’s talents ; giving him subjects at school he can’t understand . No sports , no music , no art , no excursions , no activities whatsoever . the pupil is trained to be stupid . the policeman is trained to be stupid , the officials are trained to be stupid , the media people are trained to be stupid , the ministers and the governorators are trained to be stupid. You can’t live in Egypt if you are clever , if so, you will be arrested and put in prison which is indescribable , atrocious place , the animals can’t live in , but if you have money , you are then a human being. There is a first class prison for rich businessmen . In Egypt everything was good before the revolution in 1952. Nasser built up factories of cement in Helwan , a quiet , full of gardens suburb near Cairo , just to pollute the environment around and textile factories in Shobra El Kheima to destroy one of the most fertile land in the world . these lands were formed by the deposits of the Nile mud through seven thousand years ago . why don’t you go to the desert – just because the workers of the factories may protect the revolution , how brilliant ideas! .
Most suburbs of Egypt were fields of vegetables and fruits . In El Zawyia El Hamra . , El Zatoon , in Maadi and Helwan . In El Marg and El Khanka,, why you damage your land by your hands . Are the Egyptians so shy and coward to say no ? or are they too scared to death to say no ? because they know the consequences ? People on the times of the king were decent, well dressed , well behaved and well fed , when someone runs into another in the street incidentally , he says . I’m sorry . when he sits on the café , he wears a jacket and a tie . ten eggs cost a piaster, a kilo of meat cost five piastres , now it costs fifty pounds , a kilo of milk costs know five pounds , how could children drink milk or eat meat , no wonder that the young people in Egypt are short like the Chinese , On the days of Nasser , people were afraid of each other .they spy on themselves . Everyone wants to promote and escalate on others’ shoulders .
People were courageous , they fought the British Colonisation . I wish the British would come back again , at least one gets his political , economical and social rights . Now elections are forged in advance , like the elections in Iran . Ahmadi Najat reminds me of Nasser , ‘ the dictator , they have brazen faces , the judges can’t supervise on the elections , but don’t respect the judges too much because they are now can be bribed . Don’t believe that these judges are seeking justices , they give sentences according to how much money you have . You can put anyone in prison if you have enough money . If you lend someone money and you want to take your money back because he is reluctant , you can hire some burglars to do the job , also if you want to execute the verdict sentenced for you , you can hire these tough people to have it carried out .
Arts , songs and cultures are the picture of the real outcome of our society . Now songs music and films are discarded and hackneyed . the tastes and the manners of people are molded to rubbish . people are painting their balcony with whatever color they like , not according to the decorum , but according to their ignorant whims , the actors in the films make fun of the teachers ironically , the students don’t respect their teachers , the students don’t go to their schools because they go to paid qualified educational national centers in the afternoon ; the teachers act as if they were teachers and the students act as if they were students and the minister says all is well on records and papers only . the education is free , but millions of students are graduated every year without jobs or even a chance of a part time. why couldn’t the government provide jobs to the youth , they are a fortune , China could have created jobs for them , you have the manpower , the vast land , the resources , the minerals , you only have to manage all these dear young people if you don’t know you can hire experts to do for you what you should have done , but the government doesn’t love their people and their citizens , or what else can be guessed ?
It was Nasser who deteriorated the culture , the manners , the economy , he nationalized everything in Egypt . He put his nose in everything , even between the composer and the singer ; Abdul Whab, Um Kalssom , he advised them or rather he ordered them to cooperate with each other , although they are not at good terms with each other . What was the result? it was the worst songs of Um Kalssom .Nasser made the Egyptian lazy , the wildest dream is to be a clerk at the government . He killed their innovation and potentials of creativity . if you are successful in trade , you will be nationalized, that can be applied on the manufacturers as well .
Nasser exposed his country to a military defeat by Israel in 1967, some people say , only to get rid of his general marshal ; Abdul Hakim Amer, because he couldn’t finish him off , actually because Hakim ;s tribe was great , in fact Nasser was a failure in wars , failure in peace , failure in everything , he made people like stones or robots . they were transfigured . people are no longer jealous or proud, as though they are doped
( _ 4 _ )
– Oh , where are you Fathia ?I missed you , your picture is in my imagination , it bathes me with cold water .
- I missed you too , you don’t look good .
- I’m alright , don’t bother about me .
- who should I bother about , then ? Fathia asked .
- I’m not myself since you are with me .
- you seem you don’t love me . Do you love someone else? .
- no, of course I love you . I need to see you a lot . it is like eating and drinking .
- you are not an animal, any animal can eat and drink .
- but an animal can’t love .
- you take me to satisfy your sex.
- I can go to other women .
- Why me particularly ?
- I don’t know .
- you should know .
- why should I know ? it comes like that I feel at home when I sit with you . things are sometimes done without reason . I love you without reason . I sleep without reason , I wake up without reason . things happen without reason .
- do you speak philosophically ? you say things I don’t understand
- what do you not understand ?
- I want to understand you . I think you are different . you treat me kindly . people eat me up , they snatch out my body .. I give my body to anyone. Many people say I’m too kind and very beautiful .
- how many ?
- sometimes 60 or 70 at a time.
- do you go with them ?
- yes , not in my house , in some place else .
- do you want to live with me ?
– yes , what about my children , I should take care of them ,
- what about your mother ?
- my mother is busy .
- what is she doing?
- she welcomes men , that is why I inherit the craftsmanship.
- do you like this job?
- no I don’t .
- why ?
- because I feel as if I was a cow slaughtered every day .
- why do you say I’m different ?
- when you phone me and ask me to come , I come.
- do you remember when we sat on the Nile café , the sun was wonderful and the Nile was so glassy , the wind was buffing smoothly .
- yes, I no longer felt my headache .
- did you have headache by that time ?
- yes , but you made me get rid of it .
- you never feel sick of me .
- No , I don’t .
- Can you stay with me 24 hours a day .
- It will be terrific .
- you never be angry.
- not when I’m with you .
- do you trust me ?
- yes , I do .
- you are a great woman .
- thanks , I have to go , see you next Friday .
I know the map of Fathia’s body ,and every action and reaction of every part of her body , and what is the hottest part . every woman has a particular part which stimulates her most ; the toes of her leg , the thighs , the belly , the breasts , and what is the difference between the right breast and the left one , her neck, her ears, especially her ears , when she comes and when she pushes . her body is healthy and wealthy . she has a strong stamina . the woman entertains and amuses what she loves .she can be a log of wood to the man she doesn’t like . I’m not one of her customers , I’m her lover , so , she let me know the secrets of her body .every woman is a world of her own .
Fathia is my true love . she has the great portion of my heart – one day I’ll marry her . she taught me the art of love and the art of passion . she is my true teacher , she told me if I want to marry ; marry the girl who loves you ; not the girl you love . she said if you find a girl like this , then you find a treasure and try not to lose her . she taught me the woman who loves you is faithful and I have to believe her feelings because they are true . she taught me to marry the beautiful wardrobe woman – who is bulky – because your body must be satisfied as well as your soul . to be proud of her when you walk in the street . she is the first thing you look at in the morning . I told her she is my instructor and the woman I love. Of course she can know what is true and what is untrue .
She told me poverty is the cruelest thing in life . when you can’t support yourself . when you fight everyday for breakfast , lunch and dinner , when you fight to bring rice , meat , chickens , oil , vegetables , sugar and everything necessary for your life and the prices are soaring every now and then . you don’t know the hungry stomach ; it is humiliating ;” I give myself to anybody who can fill it” . she said . “I eat , not because I’m hungry , but because I’m afraid of losing the food .” for her , food is fortune . the more supplies she has , the richer she is .she is not afraid of anything in the world except poverty . she can fight illness, , but poverty defeats her, though illness comes to the rich , and it doesn’t come to the poor .
She buys decent clothes to be a lady . she doesn’t care about cosmetic as other prostitutes do , she isn’t ashamed of being prostitute , but she is ashamed of being poor . I love her for her honesty . I think she is the most honorable woman
I’ ve ever met .
She invited me to go with her to Alexandria this summer , she has a small flat overlooking the sea in Camp Czar , near El Shatbi. She worked well in winter . she wants to dedicate this summer to me . she is on vacation . she bought fish, meat , chickens vegetables and fruits . I tried to give her some money , but she refused . she told me I’m her guest ; her lover . she taught me all the arts of making love , all positions of love . I live in a world of flesh , meat and all kinds of juices , especially mango juice ; the Egyptian mango is terrific – strawberry crushed in bananas and milk – most delicious .
We go to the beach by day and make love all night long . when we don’t make love she told me how her husband used to treat her badly , how he beat her cruelly , he was a drunken man , he took all her money to buy wine and dope , to make the things worse , he obliged her to sleep with his friends . Afterwards , she had to sell herself to get food for her and her children . she is always ready to do anything for a good word , for a decent treatment , fortunately I was that man . I treat her decently not because I should do that , but because I appreciate her qualifications , her physical appearance , in other words , her curves fit my ambition .that is what the animal inside me thinks
Fathia was like a wounded animal whose hunter turned to cure his prey . in fact I cure Fathia physically and psychologically . apparently she looks rigid, but in the core of her heart , she is fragile . she got a lot of experience from her husband and her clients . she can judge anybody . she deals with anyone according to his character. she has a world of her own , with its philosophy and principles . she never cheats , she amuses anyone since he pays . she takes care of the students whose blood are very hot . she tries to mollify them as much as she could .
Sometimes she goes to the neighbors to watch TV , because she doesn’t have any set . the neighbor gestured her to go up the roof of the house , his wife caught them together and dismissed her from the house . you can’t hate Fathia , you can’t stand before her , you can’t resist her appeal . her beautiful body defies the chastity of any man . she can make anyone a king and the most important person in the world ,. She has a PhD in life . the street is her instructor . one day , she slept with a man ; in the street at three o’clock in the morning – who sells grilled sweet potatoes – on his cart – covered with sacs . the policeman caught them , he wanted to send them to the police station , but she persuaded him to sleep with her rather than going to the police station .
Fathia got a lot of money from the street of the ” Arab countries league “
in Mohandeseen. The Arabs come to spend their summer vacation in Egypt . they choose it because they find all the facilities . they do what they can’t do in their countries .she made a friendship with the porter pimps for the houses and the apartments in this street . not only that but she worked in” the pyramids street ” El Haram street in Giza . in this street there are a lot of cabarets , casinos and whorehouses . it is las vegas Egypt . she would have been a belly dancer in one of the casino , but for the mistress of the landlord of the casino , of course , she was jealous of Fathia .she worked only one night , all the clients covered her with money , gold and diamond . she went to another casino and tried to sing , as usual , she was covered with dollars and sterling and as usual , the singers were jealous ” I don’t have much luck , you are the only luck I have ” said she .
Fathia thought the money the Arabs spend on the belly dancers and singers could have built many hospitals for poor patients , many schools for the children to learn properly or to set up many houses for the young men to marry and start a new life , or to provide them with jobs , or to give them loans to put up new small enterprises, for spinsters and jobless youth highly found in all Arab countries .
Fathia thinks that most of the Arabs , now , only care for enjoying themselves , most of their money is spent on women , new stylish cars , jewelry and perfumes , buying houses, companies and banks around the world . she said if she had enough money , she would educate herself . but she said there should be some foolishness , for her job to flourish ; otherwise how she would support herself .
Fathia is the product of many civilisations rooted deeply in the history. The Hexose’s who came from the middle of minor Asia , and conquered Egypt . the Persians came to Egypt after that , followed by Alexander the Great ; the Greek civilisation , and the Ptolemy , Cleopatra brought the Romans , Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony, there was an interaction between the ancient Egyptian civilisation and the civilisation of the invaders . the Arabs came presided by Amr Ibn El Ass . then the Fatimid , the Ayobit – Salah El Din who terminated the Fatimid and returned the Sunni creed to Egypt again . Afterwards the Mamloki came . Egypt didn’t speak the language of the invaders . they speak Arabic after 400 years from the Arabic invasion . the Turkish ; the Ottoman, occupied the Arab world for four centuries . they took more than hundred thousand craftsmen to build Istanbul. In fact there is a similarity between Cairo And Istanbul . the Egyptians were affected only by some Turkish words and some recipes . Napoleon came for three years and affected Egypt much . the English spent seventy years .
Many different nations and peoples mixed in the tissues of the Egyptians , the foreigners became Egyptians . , for Example , Muhammad Ali ; the Albanian ; the founder of the new renaissance of Egypt , was considered Egyptian . his son Ibrahim Pasha depended on the Egyptians soldiers and waged 50 victorious wars . Muhammad Ali was about to conquer Turkey but for England and Russia who scared his colonial competition to them .
Fathia had the effect and influence of all these civilisations . she feels noble inside herself , the nobility , the beauty , the appeal of Queen Cleopatra . the purity of the Nile ; the fertility of the soil and the kindness, the friendliness , the tolerance of the people of Egypt . when you speak to Fathia , you hardly can leave her, she represents the tranquility ,endurance , patience and wisdom of Egypt . when she was a child . on Ramadan , at night she didn’t have a colored lantern. She brought a tin mug and put inside a small candle , the light would make a big circle of flash. She knocked at the doors of the neighbors to ask for candies and cakes made from butter and sugar . she played with boys and girls . Fathia went to school at the age of seven for one year . her breasts were like small oranges . she had considerable hunches . her classmates harassed her . she gives them a kiss for a candy , to squeeze her breast for two candies . the teacher raped her on the desk in the class after the pupils left . he made love to her many times , in the bathroom . other teachers knew the story , they had a go as well , she was always abused .
The other girls beat her because she was more beautiful . she didn’t know why the girls beat her , why the boys annoyed her , why the teachers always ask her to pull down her pants . why everyone gives her candies , money and presents . At the age of eight , she had to serve at houses to get some money to help her parents , she sweeps the rooms , dust the furniture and carpets , make the beds ,wash the clothes , go to the market to buy vegetables and meat for the dinner , peel the potatoes and help in preparing the dinner ,in return , she had her meal in the kitchen on the floor . at night the landlord always tries to make love to her – she never complains – sometimes he succeeds , but when his wife caught them – of course , she’ll be driven away . what makes things worse is that her mother quarrels with her when she was fired , and the trip of looking for another house to serve in .
After we finished a week in Alexandria , I invited her to go with me to Marsa Matroh to spend another week , if she was gallant , I’d be more gallant . we set off on early in the morning . we got on the train to Matroh , it took four hours . I hired an apartment in Alam El Room street . Matroh has two streets ; Alexandria and Alam El Room – near the mosque of Amr Ibn El Ass , just near the market , there was a bakery as well .
The sea in Matroh is terrific , I may say , it is indescribable . it has three colors ; turquoise , green and blue altogether . the sand of the beaches is white and soft . the temperature there is ten degrees lower than that of Cairo . the rock of Cleopatra is fantastic – how could she come to Matroh only to have a bath . it is famous for olives and figs . the strategic site of Romel , the general Germany in the second world war. He had a submarine at the end of the cave – I like his philosophy in security . – there should always be a reserve – in all your life –
Once we were invited to a wedding of local people . originally , they descend from the tribes of Sons of Ali who are extended to Libya’s Sons of Ali,s tribes , the same accent , customs and traditions . they drink strong tea , three times , running on ,one after another , at a time . a lot of meat in the rice – the piece of meat is like a small ball . the wedding is held in the morning till late in the night .
The singer is singing sadly about his love . Fathia had to show her brilliance in dancing . she had many fans around her . all the origin of songs in the Moroccan countries goes back to the lyrics of Andalusia ; they are the basis of 17 , 18 , 19 , centuries European classic music . our program begins at eleven o’clock in the morning , on one of the beaches extended along the sea shore ; – El Lido , El Beausite , El Awam – I hire an umbrella , a table and two chairs . we stay till the sun sets in the sea . Fathia prepares our breakfast and lunch on the beach . she is an expert in cooking . she knows how to fry and grill fish , she cooks chicken with onions, tomatoes , garlic and potatoes . she cooks flat pieces of meat in a tray with carrots and green pepper .If you live with Fathia , she knows how to entertain you . I never feel bored with her . she always has a story or a situation to tell you about .
Sometimes I speak with myself , what will happen if I lose Fathia ? . she could be ill and pass away . she could love another man. I’ll feel like an orphan . my love to my mother is different to Fathia’s , or Leila’s . Fathia’s love runs in my blood , it is like the oxygen I breathe every moment . it is like the pain of toothache . you can’t bear this terrible pain . . if I lose Fathia , it is like feeling toothache , is it the fate of the couple to separate ? Fathia gives me value to my life .I love life because Fathia lives this life ., although many people share me Fathia , I can’t say I’ll go away and leave her behind .
Sometimes you have nothing to do but to live with the pain . imagine her with her black gown , she is like a group of lilies in a black vase . I love her physically and spiritually .
- will you leave me one day? I asked her terribly agitated due to the idea .
- no , I won’t . I’ll go with you to the whole world . she replies assuringly .
I always need this assurance , the balance of love is like two super powers having nuclear weapons and that , what makes stability . but I’m like the moon who always needs the sun .
- what will happen If I go away ? I asked
- I’ll commit suicide . –
- God forbid .
The difference between Fathia , and Leila is that I love Fathia and Leila loves me .when Fathia is unwell , I keep staying with her all the night long . I give her some lemon and aspirin . she feels very week but I asked her to sleep with her , she accepts at once . the fever makes her hot . I tell her so , because I feel like eating a hot pie . I’m not afraid of the infection . in the depth of my heart , I want to get the infection out of her .
The time was night . when I look at the sky , I saw nothing but clouds , then the stars disappear as well as the face of the moon . I know Fathia , your way is full of wire and my heart is suffering departure . I know , Fathia ,your love is flowing like the rivers in my age and the trees are growing leaves . I will ever sail in your eyes , although the waves trouble me . your love is like a giant that broke the borders and the heart got victorious . I didn’t know that you have the beginning and the end of this world .
Our meeting is our destiny . I thought I can forget you Fathia, but it was in vain . I thought I could live without you , but it was no good , as if plowing in the sea . as if I was fighting the windmill . I admit my defeat my lady . Fathia , you stabbed me with bloodless weapon . I can’t collect myself again . I can’t fight alone an army of attractions . I can’t fight the power of life . life is stronger than death . who could bring life to the flowers ?
These two weeks I spent with her made me the happiest one on earth . her love could make the leaves more green , and the flowers more red ; the sky more blue ; the stars more bright ; the rivers more sweet . If I look at her black eyes , and touch her body with my fingers , I would be some one else I fought her love within my heart , but her image lives in my head .I resist hard her attractions , but I failed in all attempts , so I’m the loser winner and she is the winner loser , but there are no losses , no wins .
I’m like a feather in the air , flying the wind in the clouds, feeling no cold , or warm , living my love alone , personifying my dreams, riding the sound of the flute , hearing my lovely tune , wiping your friendly tears away , sleeping every night on your bosom till dawn , watching the purple sunset , dreaming of having you alone , getting rid of your thorns .
Fathia could induce a lot of heat. She could melt a lot of ice . I don’t want to be afraid of her eyes , I don’t want to pity their weakness . my love to Fathia isn’t a mistake . I had no choice in my birth , I had no choice in her love . I wish I could build her a kingdom and bring her some stars . I wish I could conquer the world, but I’m not Alexander the Great . I don’t have the white horse .
If only I could build her a cottage high , all will be beneath her . sunshine will come to her first . Fathia , you will always be in my mind . you will always inhabit my heart. I remember the roses when I look at you , I remember the sorrow when I look at her eyes . I remember her hair when I walk at night .whatever mistakes she makes , she isn’t to blame . if she goes away , I won’t forget her . my condolence is in the night and the roses . her tears push me to the purgatory , but I don’t want to be purgated , I want to be sinned with her love .
I’m spending with you , Fathia, the happiest time . beside you I can realise all my dreams . you are always found in my speech . your picture occupies my flesh . you are the center of my life . your love covers all my days . whenever you go , my soul goes . you are the only one who could heal my wounds . all I care is to look after you . you never deprived me of these senses . you needn’t say you love , the light in your eyes is enough , the shiver in your voice is enough . I couldn’t be tired of your love , because it is forbidden to abandon you .
Let me hope to stay with you, Fathia , a true hope is a true dream , a true dream is a true love , a true love is a true life , a true life is a true continuation . my love to you is a true truth . it is the license of the shining moon , the validity of the living sun , the production of the stars , the salt of the oceans , the sweetness of the rivers , the color of the trees , the fertility of the soil , the words of the poets and the tunes of the music. your love gives me endless words , and flaming imagination . you make me see the beauty of life and the wisdom of the universe .
- oh , get up what is all that ? did you catch my fever . I think you were talking like poetry .did you use to speak during sleep ?
- Really ! was I speaking in my dreams ?
- you don’t see or listen to yourself, your were feverish all night .do you want to have a hot pie?
- yes, I do
- how many ?
- one per hour
- glutton.
- you are the most delicious pie I’ve ever eat .
- you are the most atrocious cannibal I’ve ever seen .
- bon appetit for me .
I went into a period of non-stop sensational pleasure ; like a symphony, we were harmonious together . the rhythm begins with el pensoroso , then l’Allegro con fuoco . that’s the making love of the lovers . the mating between the seeds and the soil . the rain is a process of mating . every thing in nature is mating. Fathia is the most matching woman to me . when she gives me her self , she , really gives me her soul the perfect stature , the perfect size , the perfect color , the carol of color ; the white goes with the black ; the beautiful contradict . the earth and the sky , the sun against the moon . the night versus the day . the red garnish of her cheeks and lips; the final touch of beauty . woman is purer than man . the woman only loves one man , but the man loves many women. don’t believe that man loves only one woman . the multiplication is made for man , woman is the guarding angel Allah created for man .sensation after sensation with Fathia , and passion after passion from my part to Fathia
Fathia is my shrine where I used to go to have rest , to feel quiet , not to feel lonely . she is the leaves of my tree , the only tree that gives fruits , but she is fruitful to many others . I can’t dream to have her alone . I wish if this lonely dream came true . I wish I could be recovered from this fever ; hallucination without immunization. Fathia is like a child in a woman . my love to Fathia is like summer. my goal is to make her happy . I like her hair fluffy . we walked together on the beach , we talked about memories for a long time ,. I ‘m sorry because I ”ll have to leave all this pleasure , since days are running fast .how much we said good bye , but how many times I came back at night , throwing myself on her kissing every part of her creamy body .
- focus , oh man , where were you? she asked .
- I want to be longer . are you tired ? I was on top of her, riding my white mare .
- no , it is my job .
- am I a customer ?
- no, you are my lover ,but I’m afraid you yourself will get tired .
- no , my love to you is renewal , please be silent and let me enjoy .
- who do you enjoy ?
- you , you are the most enjoyable thing in my life .
- am I a thing ?
- no, you are a blessing . please don’t look at me .
- why ?
- because your eyes are sending softness .
- so what ?
- this softness burns my heart .
- only softness .
- they also send weakness .
- then .
- this weakness beats me .
- do they send love, too ?.
- yes, .
- what does love do to you?
- this love sets me in ecstasy . this love makes me unconscious . please don’t talk .
- why ?
- because your voice is sending sweetness .
- what is it ?
- this sweetness makes me shiver .
- what about my hair you grasp like ropes of a horse
- your hair makes the sun dark , but when you laugh , the sun rises again
- but I’m not laughing , I’m crying .
- why ?
- because I can’t believe happiness .
- but I see sorrow comes from your tears.
- I’m scared , one day you ‘ll go away .
- stop talking , concentrate , I’m coming
No comments:
Post a Comment